Love is simple. Take for instance the love of a puppy. As I write this, my puppy, Jeter (Yes, I did name him after my fifteen year crush New York Yankee Shortstop Derek Jeter) (GO YANKS!!)...ok got it out of my system....Jeter is currently sleeping on my lap. He's a mix between a bull terrier and a pug. For those of you who are dog lovers, you know that the puppy training phase is a difficult one. Right now, I am battling the potty training war. So far, he's winning.
After a detailed conversation with my bestie and many poo-poo pick ups, I have decided that I am going to become very strict with his kennel training. So all day today, he's been stuck in his kennel. Whining up a storm! Each time the whines would become a little bark, I would let him out and direct him outside. He didn't get the reasoning behind it and thought it was play time. Let's just say that he needs his nails clipped. So after many scratches to my feet, I decided to let him stay outside, in the gated back yard, by himself and see if he would figure out that I wanted him to go poo-poo outside.
He understood this as abandonment. He stayed by the door and cried and cried and cried. I went and got him and let him back inside the house. I turn my back and not only did he drop one load of enormous poo-poo on the floor, but he left me three loads along with a nice puddle of pee-pee to wash it all down. So, I wipe him down and place him back in the kennel. Of course he still is at loss. He wants to play, he wants to be with me. He needs my attention. The sound of my voice or my presence sent him in to crazy mode. I don't like hearing him moan and groan in pain. I want to play with him, but he has to learn.
After leaving him there, to the point that I can't stand the screams, I decide to pick him up and sit him on my lap. I pull one of his softer toys and give it to him so that he won't nibble on my arm, which he enjoys doing. As I updated my facebook status, Jeter played with his toy on my lap. He's relaxed. Eventually, he dropped his toy and cuddled up on my lap, close to my belly and decided to take a nap. And this is how he stayed.
This is how many of my relationships have gone. I give in to the whines and pleas and always come back. I never let them go long enough without my attention, so how can they appreciate me when I do give it to them. By no means am I comparing men to dogs, because a dog is loyal to the hand that feeds him. Now that I think about it, it makes me sound like a bitter jaded woman...which to some extent I am. So, how do I go about changing this.
Going back to the comparison between men and dogs, certain dog breeds are "crazier" than others. You need to find the breed that works for you. The first step is to identify the personality traits that you are attracted to. Figure out which ones all of your exes have in common and go against that. Keeping in mind NOT to take some of those "traits" as a negative thing.
For example, I dated this guy, Nissan for a while. He was super sweet and very attentive. There was this one day that I needed a car wash. I drove to his house, I followed him to the place he gets his car washed. We went to the mall and did a little shopping while we waited for my car to be washed. Not a big deal...right? Well, a screw went off in my head. Since he was forcing me to go to HIS carwash and go shopping at HIS mall for HIS items, then that meant he was controlling. I freaked out and placed him on the back burner. He was just too intense and exactly like my ex who controlled me. I admit that I had a moment of psychosis there. I probably ruined what could have been a good relationship. Because I looked WAY to into a small kind gesture.
Life is learning process. There is a right way of doing things and the wrong way. The wrong way would be NOT to learn from the mistakes made in the past. I choose to learn and adapt. The ideal man doesn't require much from me. Just my attention and my affection...the rest just falls into place. If it's too difficult, it wasn't meant to be.
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