What's it all about again?

This is going to be the year that I (fill in the blank). Yup, I have sat back and watched life happen before me, but NO MORE!! This is my year. This is going to be the year that I will finally meet my goal. There is nothing that's going to stop me. I am motivated. There is nothing... I mean absolutely nothing... that will stand in my way. I will achieve greatness in 2012!

Ok, so it's been twenty-five days into the New Year. Where do you stand? Did you find that new relationship, quit smoking, lose weight, save money? Did you become that nicer person, make more time for your family, live each day as if it were your last? Wait... let me guess, you FINALLY found that dream job and are slowly climbing that ladder to success JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAID!!! Soon enough, that bank account will increase, you will be happy and you will have nothing at all to worry about. Congrats! I'm happy for you.

No really, I am happy for you. Don't focus on my frown, focus on the fact that you are headed in the right direction. I'm proud of you. Now, for the rest of you that are trying to hide your disappointment, (Not that I am, because my lips normally go down when I smile, its cool. I'm not jealous at all. For real) come take a seat next to me and lets comfort each other in the land of unkept promises and defeat.

Let's talk this thing out. What is it about the new year that creates all this excitement and potential for something new and something hopeful. Why is it that we have to wait for numbers on a calendar to change before we decided, I've had enough and things are going to change? Why? Why? Why? Here are my thoughts...stay with me on this one, I'll get to the point eventually.

So Jeter wakes up every morning and goes crazy. He jumps up on the side of the bed with this huge doggie smile and this excitement as if to say, DID YOU SEE...IT'S A NEW DAY. GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! My reaction always is..."ugh, five more minutes." Telling him that is like hitting the snooze button on an alarm. He'll be back at it, with the same innocent excitement. MOOOMMMIIEEEEE, WAKE UP! WE MADE IT! ANOTHER DAY! LET'S DO THIS!!!

Eventually, I'll get tired of his excitement, because who told you that we should be excited today. It's freaking seven in the morning. SEVEN IN THE MORNING JETER!! I'll reach over, pull him up on the bed and after he is done trying to wake me up with doggie slobber and gentle nibbling, he finally gives in and collapses in front of me. Bam...battle won and now he won't move, nor harass me until I decide it's time to wake up. I have to decide to wake up.

Ok, so now back to my point. (I told you, I'll bring you back!) Jeter doesn't care what day it is or what time it is. Once he wakes up...it's go time. He has opened the gift of life one more day and he doesn't plan on wasting it. He wakes up with the I-will-conquer-the-world-attitude and there is nothing that is going to come between him and his day of awesomeness. That is until he comes across me. The cuddler of crushed dreams. I tell him, no your not ready. But, he knows that he is. He walks away for a moment or so, but is back in my face with this c'mon lady I want this and I want it now attitude.

However, I know him. I know how to knock him down. I know how to crush his happiness and get him into that lazy state where I am comfortable and I am happy knowing he is not doing anything and I can rest knowing I am not going to miss anything and he isn't going to do anything. I grab him and I give him what he longs for. Comfort. The comfort in knowing that nothing has changed and everything has stayed exactly the same. He can conquer the world when I am ready for him to conquer the world.

Don't look at me like that. I told you there was a point to this story and I'm getting there. You see, every day is a blessing. It's one more day that you are able to make an impact in this world. You can either enter into it with a blind innocence that no matter what, you are going to be happy. You are going to meet your goals. You are going to do what you set out to do. OR you can take the opposite approach and go back to what is comfortable. You can choose to fall into the arms of days past and continue to live your life in the same routine and never experience something new.

So here's what I'm saying. Learn to let go. Don't carry that weight from 2011. Don't get disappointed if you've already gave up on your new years resolutions. It's not about a new year, it's all about a new day. Each day is an opportunity to take a step forward in life and live out one more dream, say one more thank you, one more I love you. It's all about baby steps people. **CLICHE WARNING** Rome wasn't built in a day (did I do that right?) and neither can a new you.

I leave you with this thought, before you go to bed tonight think of one thing that you don't want to do tomorrow. Fill that void with something you do want to do. Make it a point that NO MATTER what the cuddler of crushed dreams bribes you with, do it. If you give in, aim to do it the next day and the next day. You'll get it right. I promise.

2012, welcome...but it's not about you. It's all about tomorrow.

simple and sweet

Love is simple. Take for instance the love of a puppy. As I write this, my puppy, Jeter (Yes, I did name him after my fifteen year crush New York Yankee Shortstop Derek Jeter) (GO YANKS!!)...ok got it out of my system....Jeter is currently sleeping on my lap. He's a mix between a bull terrier and a pug. For those of you who are dog lovers, you know that the puppy training phase is a difficult one. Right now, I am battling the potty training war. So far, he's winning.

After a detailed conversation with my bestie and many poo-poo pick ups, I have decided that I am going to become very strict with his kennel training. So all day today, he's been stuck in his kennel. Whining up a storm! Each time the whines would become a little bark, I would let him out and direct him outside. He didn't get the reasoning behind it and thought it was play time. Let's just say that he needs his nails clipped. So after many scratches to my feet, I decided to let him stay outside, in the gated back yard, by himself and see if he would figure out that I wanted him to go poo-poo outside. 

He understood this as abandonment. He stayed by the door and cried and cried and cried. I went and got him and let him back inside the house. I turn my back and not only did he drop one load of enormous poo-poo on the floor, but he left me three loads along with a nice puddle of pee-pee to wash it all down. So, I wipe him down and place him back in the kennel. Of course he still is at loss. He wants to play, he wants to be with me.  He needs my attention. The sound of my voice or my presence sent him in to crazy mode. I don't like hearing him moan and groan in pain. I want to play with him, but he has to learn.

After leaving him there, to the point that I can't stand the screams, I decide to pick him up and sit him on my lap. I pull one of his softer toys and give it to him so that he won't nibble on my arm, which he enjoys doing. As I updated my facebook status, Jeter played with his toy on my lap. He's relaxed. Eventually, he dropped his toy and cuddled up on my lap, close to my belly and decided to take a nap. And this is how he stayed. 

This is how many of my relationships have gone. I give in to the whines and pleas and always come back. I never let them go long enough without my attention, so how can they appreciate me when I do give it to them. By no means am I comparing men to dogs, because a dog is loyal to the hand that feeds him. Now that I think about it, it makes me sound like a bitter jaded woman...which to some extent I am. So, how do I go about changing this.

Going back to the comparison between men and dogs, certain dog breeds are "crazier" than others. You need to find the breed that works for you. The first step is to identify the personality traits that you are attracted to. Figure out which ones all of your exes have in common and go against that. Keeping in mind NOT to take some of those "traits" as a negative thing.

For example, I dated this guy, Nissan for a while. He was super sweet and very attentive. There was this one day that I needed a car wash. I drove to his house, I followed him to the place he gets his car washed. We went to the mall and did a little shopping while we waited for my car to be washed. Not a big deal...right? Well, a screw went off in my head. Since he was forcing me to go to HIS carwash and go shopping at HIS mall for HIS items, then that meant he was controlling. I freaked out and placed him on the back burner. He was just too intense and exactly like my ex who controlled me. I admit that I had a moment of psychosis there. I probably ruined what could have been a good relationship. Because I looked WAY to into a small kind gesture. 

Life is learning process. There is a right way of doing things and the wrong way. The wrong way would be NOT to learn from the mistakes made in the past. I choose to learn and adapt. The ideal man doesn't require much from me. Just my attention and my affection...the rest just falls into place. If it's too difficult, it wasn't meant to be.