It was one of those days. I was leaving work, after working a midnight, and instead of flying home to see my growing infant I decided I needed to be at the beach. I have to admit, this is one of the best reasons to live in Miami. In fact, for me it's the only reason. Twenty minutes after making the decision, I was parking and walking towards the water.
Yes, I made a detour to Starbucks. It was morning time after all and I needed a prop so that people could speculate in the right direction as to why I was sitting on the beach in jeans and a t-shirt watching the sunrise alone. It seems that even though I say I don't care about what people say, I actually do. This concern is how I found myself needing a break from it all.
It could be the smell of the ocean, the gentle waves crashing up on shore, the grainy sand or the heat of the sun; but, this is where I find refuge. It's my way to relax and organize my thoughts without worrying what someone will say. Aside from the personal issues I will spare you from, one reoccurring thought was my writing and the fact that I don't do it anymore. I can't remember the last time, I just sat down and wrote for the fun of it. Not with a purpose, but just flowed.
Over a year ago I started an online magazine, Seven. I worked my butt off on it and started to get a good following. I also had three writers jump on board and start contributing to the piece each month. It was great. After some time, life hit and I called it quits. It wasn't all at once, but it came gradual. I tried to let it run without me, but the minute I lost focus, so did everyone else.
I find myself missing it now. I want to gain it back and I can start it up again, but where does that leave the people that started it with me? I would love to have them come back, but how do you make people believe in you again, when you lost the vision along the way? How can they trust you?
My first step will be to lift this little dream up off the ground. Commit myself to a .com and once I find myself financially invested, it might make me more responsible with it. Maybe this will be the push they need to see that I'm committed again. At the same token... I must get down to the origin of it all. The writing. I must perfect my craft. One of the most import aspects of this, other than the writing is to read. I have to find the time in my day to sit down and actually read a book, from beginning to end. Not the halfies that I've been getting myself accustomed to.
After everything is set for a serious comeback, only then can I truly write a letter of redemption and ask for them to come back. Hopefully, they accept because I do admire their unique writing styles and I value their opinion. But, if they don't accept, then this is something I must conquer. A goal that I must make a reality because I don't want to sit here next year and not remember the last time I did what I loved.
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