I have an admission. I would like to keep this between us because.... well, it's.... it's rather embarrassing. Promise you won't tell? Seriously, you promise??
***enter dramatic pause here***
Okay. . . . . . OH MY GOSH!!! I can't believe I'm going to say this.... ummmmm, you really really pinky promise, right?
***enter concerned face here**
Alright, alright... geez. **deep breath** Here it is. . .
I ENJOY REALITY SHOWS!
OOOO EEEMMMM GEEEEE!!! I think I just got rid of my last intellectual brain cell. HA HA! Ok, I'm just kidding. Not about the reality show thing... just the brain cell comment. I really do enjoy me some reality show drama. Particularly The Real Housewives of New York City (up until Bethenny Frankel left, but then she got her own show Bethenny Ever After and that is now my favorite.)
BEST REVENGE EVER!!!! ==========>
I also enjoyed tons of drama from the BH Housewives...
Not so sure if I feel bad for her. . . catch up on the drama and then we can talk. =)
This one I do feel bad for her. My heart goes out to her and her little girl. Pobresita!
Wait...almost forgot to mention the Atlanta chicks. Check them out for some AMAZING dramatic times.
Now imagine my excitement when I heard that Miami (town of plastic surgery, fakeness and rolling around in cars you can't afford and carrying a real Louie to the welfare office.) was getting it's own HOUSEWIVES!!! What?? The town that I live in that I am now learning to love (only took me ten years) is going to host it's own cesspool of backstabbing and dollar slanging! Needless to say that ELATED is an understatement. I was not missing an episode EVAR!!! (I know it's misspelled. -----> that's how it's supposed to sound when you're ELATED!!!)
So, I have to admit, I missed a couple of episodes. Not because I wanted to, but because duty called. For some reason my employer can't understand how calling out to catch the show is not acceptable. Yada yada yada, a couple of write ups later and BAAAM I was in bed and I was meeting my new electrifying Miami divas. I was sure that the producers had taken their time picking Le Creme de La Creme. I mean they had to represent Miami well. Strong personalities and mucho pero mucho drama to compete with the other shows. I couldn't wait to meet Miami's version of Nene Leakes!!! -------->>>>
I ended up catching the show mid episode. I was introduced to this face right of the bat. . .
Oh sweet sweet sweet honey suckle of life, what is that? She looks like she should be on an episode of The Doctor's When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong episode. . .
BBBBUUUTTT I digress!
The show was horrible. Bravo thought so too, so they cancelled it. Take it from me when I tell you that this was the worst representation of Miami possible. It did a great job of showing how Hialeah (no offense to my Hialeah peoples) hood rat gold differs could be useful in society, but it did nothing to elevate the community that I am currently digging. Who were these women and where the hell did Bravo find them? Seriously I am embarrassed for my Miami peeps.
Ok, it's funny. . . but, aside from their uneducated Hialeah accent (again, no offense) these women on this show play up to a crowd of people that I think destroy the beauty of this city. They are the typical stereotype of what Miami women are not. I blame women like that for creating this stigma that the man whose pocket chicks hold on to, are what defines them. You know the chicks I'm talking about. . . they are the ones that have a name on each article they adorn their overworked on bodies. They are the women who crash diets and break people down to just a dollar sign. TOTAL WOMEN FAIL!!!
What? You're calling me a hypocrite??? I am offended!!! But, you are also kind of right. I am a fan of the other shows and they are just as bad. HOW EV ER, Miami Housewives do not have the draw that the other shows have. They are just bad. Bad accents, bad facial features and bad ummm bad everything!
Here's the real reason why I'm bombarding you with this today... the other day I got a Groupon (BEST SITE EVER!!!! <----FREE ADVERTISING! I seriously need to start getting paid for this.) for a VIP ticket to a Dali private collector's viewing. This was my first art exhibit, not to mention VIP status. It was an easy purchase (I love me some art) and I was super excited.
I met my girlfriend and her husband there. Her hubby is a real artist (he's really good, for realsies!) The plan was to enjoy ourselves with people watching and amazing artwork. We were also planning on chowing down on some designer yummies. It started off properly. We got into the people watching. . . .
The food was hard to get to, barely found and once you did, attack mode was in progress. But, just as I was getting comfortable with my artsy fartsy role, everything took a turn for the worst. . .
We were invaded by the Housewives of Miami!! I thought they were canceled! Turns out that crappy ratings weren't enough for Bravo to bite the bullet and admit their mistakes. Whatever, not my cup of tea and I can always change the channel. (Chopped anyone??)
What I can't change is how horrible it was to be in a cramped up space trying to enjoy my friends, artwork and my first VIP experience while being cleared away from existence while these posers (wearing amazing shoes) walk around aimlessly interrupting my art experience.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN ADMIRE THE ARTWORK!!!
OOORRR THE AMAZING BUILDING WE WERE STANDING IN!!!!
Nope, they just walked around and around and around and gossiped about God knows what. All the while the paying public, who was actually there for the enjoyment of the artwork, the people who were trying to understand what things were and why was the guy in the gold jacket walking around and dancing as if this was an 80's film, seriously, why?....
Anyway, we were being pushed around as if we were sheep in this developing town of Miami. I want a creative city. I want to live in an artistically diverse city where I can walk around and try to figure out the mysterious ways of crazy artist!!!
I do not want to be pushed around! Specifically from one camera guy who rudely told me to "move out the way." Yeah...he said that. Apparently, I was absently walking in the same direction as the wives and I was rudely depriving Bravo of finally getting some amazing drama on this show.
Had it not been for the fact that my friend has amazing people skills or the fact that I was not heavily inebriated, I totally would have created some drama for these chicks and grabbed my drink and throw it in the tall ones face. I don't know why she annoys me soo. . . it was possibly the chunk of upper arm fat that was leaking from the top of her too tight dress. (Not my personal comment, but my girlfriends observation. For the record though, the back fat was severe. Pay for a trainer or some lypo lady!!)
Anyway, my experience improved, once they had turned off the cameras and we were back in the art district...just as intended. I did enjoy my time there and I can't wait till the next art gallery I can attend. I still think the Miami housewives suck, and will only watch the show now to find out what they were talking about and if I am in the back ground. . . WHAT?!?!
If you ask me, I should have my own reality show. . . I'm just saying!
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